Why is losing a place so hard? It should be as simple as packing your bags, hopping a plane, and going back, but it's not. Before too long, you're missing that particular quality of sunshine, the way the air feels supercharged before a thunderstorm, and the distinct smell of the air.
Your shower water feels different, the soap is the wrong scent, even the toilet paper is too soft. The roads are too clean, the stores too brightly lit, ordering food is too chaotic. The sheets on your bed have no holes, no mosquito nets are in sight, the carpet itches under your bare feet.
But when all is said and done, it's not just your environment you've lost, it's the people. It's the best friend you promise to see in two months, it's the goodbye you didn't say. It's the people who are cousins and siblings, it's the troublemakers you know you could call and do anything with at a moment's notice.
It's the inevitable change, the ultimate point of no return. You know no matter how hard you try to go back, it's impossible. You will have changed, and the place and the people will have changed too. The spot you filled doesn't fit quite right anymore. Some of the smells you dreamed of are missing, some of the sounds are gone. The tree you always climbed was cut down, the house you used to stay in is now an office. The people have changed and adapted and it's time to find a new space, and you all know it.
The home you knew now only exists in your memory.
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